Why Learning Hockey as an Adult in Canada Is So Hard — And Why So Many Beginners Walk Away

Across Canada, more adults are trying hockey for the first time — or returning after decades away. Men. Women. Parents. Professionals. People who love the idea of the game but didn’t grow up in the system.

And yet, one of the most common things I hear — and something I experienced personally — is this: Finding the right place to learn hockey as an adult can be harder than learning the game itself.

Hockey Is One of the Hardest Sports to Learn as an Adult

There’s no sugar-coating this: ice hockey is widely considered one of the most difficult sports in the world to learn — especially as an adult.

You’re expected to:

• Skate on thin blades with balance and control

• Handle a puck while moving at speed

• Read the play in real time

• Make decisions under pressure

• Avoid collisions

• Learn positioning, rules, and systems — all at once

Unlike many adult sports, you can’t casually “ease in” to hockey. If your skating isn’t there yet, everything else suffers. If your puck control isn’t there, you barely touch the puck. If the pace is too high, learning simply stops.

That difficulty alone is intimidating — but it’s not what drives most adult beginners away.

The Bigger Problem: Finding the Right Hockey Culture

In my own experience, the hardest part of adult hockey wasn’t the skating or the learning curve.

It was finding a beginner or low-intermediate league that was actually about enjoyment, learning, and fun — not winning at all costs or knocking people around.

Across Canada, many leagues are labeled:

• “Beginner”

• “Recreational”

• “Low-intermediate”

But once you step on the ice, the reality can be very different.

Some players still skate at very high levels. Some never slow down and love to show their skills. Some take the game extremely seriously — treating every shift like a playoff game, never passing and scoring as much as possible.

That intensity may be fine on its own — but when it’s mixed with people who are just trying to learn, enjoy the game, and go to work the next day, it creates real barriers. Simply put, some higher-level players will not play down or help others; they feel it's an irritation.

Many times I saw high level players play beginner and recreational games, to showboat and score on the weaker players.

As adults, many of us simply don’t have time for that.

When “Competitive” and “Beginner” Collide, People Leave

This is something I’ve seen over and over again.

When faster, more aggressive, or overly competitive players are mixed with true beginners:

• New players never get to touch the puck

• Confidence drops quickly

• Fear replaces fun

• Players start skating “not to make mistakes” instead of learning

• Injuries and unnecessary contact increase.

When playing with competitive adults I was lucky to get 1 maybe 2 passes per game, I was not learning!

And eventually, people disappear.

I’ve personally seen many players walk away from the game — and disproportionately, women — after being knocked around for no reason, run into along the boards, or made to feel like they were in the way. Not because they didn’t like hockey. But because the environment didn’t protect them while they were learning.

Not Everyone Wants to Win — Many Just Want to Play

One of the biggest misconceptions in adult hockey is that everyone wants the same thing.

They don’t.

Many adult players are not chasing trophies or stats. They’re chasing:

• Their first goal

• Their first clean breakout

• Their first full game without falling

• A good skate after work

• Stress relief

• Community

• Laughter in the dressing room

They don’t want to get hit. They don’t want to get “taken out” for no reason.They don’t want to feel like liabilities.

They want to learn the game, improve at their own pace, and have fun.

That doesn’t make them soft. It makes them honest.

Women Face Even Greater Barriers in Adult Hockey

For women learning hockey as adults in Canada, the barriers are often higher.

In mixed environments, women are more likely to:

• Be knocked off the puck unnecessarily

• Feel unsafe at speed

• Be hesitant to engage physically

• Feel discouraged after repeated negative contact

When those moments happen early — especially to new players — many women decide it’s simply not worth it.

That’s not a failure of the player. That’s a failure of the organizations.

Adult Hockey Needs Intentional Design — Not Assumptions

True beginner-friendly hockey doesn’t happen by accident.

It requires organizations that:

• Clearly separate skill levels

• Set expectations around pace and contact

• Value learning over winning

• Protect new players physically and mentally

• Understand adult motivations

• Create space for women to learn safely

Too often, leagues rely on self-sorting: “Just play down a level.” But when ice time is expensive and options are limited, that approach fails beginners.

And when beginners leave, hockey loses future players forever.

Learning Hockey as an Adult Is an Act of Courage

Starting hockey as an adult takes real courage.

It means:

• Being visibly new

• Falling in front of others

• Asking questions

• Making mistakes

• Balancing life, work, family, and learning

Adults who show up deserve environments that meet that courage with patience — not punishment.

When beginners feel safe, supported, and respected:

• They stay

• They improve

• They bring friends

• They build community

• They grow the game

Hockey Can Be Better — And It’s Starting To Be

Across Canada, more programs are beginning to recognize this shift.

Adult hockey doesn’t need to be about domination. It doesn’t need to mirror elite systems. It doesn’t need to push people out to prove toughness.

It can be about:

• Learning

• Enjoyment

• Community

• Confidence

• Belonging

Because hockey isn’t just for those who started young. It’s for adults who want their first goal, not a championship. It’s for women who want to learn without fear. It’s for people who love the game — even if they’re just starting. And when we build hockey around that idea, everyone wins.